Dr. Faye is a student of the origins of violent behavior, and she learned most of what she knows by studying the two ends of the spectrum, from our greatest leaders in humanity and the most terrifying people of all. She believes that people who become dangerous to another person, were once on the other end of the experience. They were terrified victims as babies and small children. What goes in must come out, and what doesn’t go in can’t come out.

       In studying individual childhoods of people who turn out at either end of humanity, Dr. Faye has learned most of what she knows about behavior, how it is created and what it takes to heal it. There is no class at PaRC where this knowledge is more intensely employed than in the DV class, where there are no killers, but there are some very angry people who have had too much of a bad thing. Oh, and by the way, the more angry one is, the more likely they will protect their parents and deny they had anything to do with it. This is because, underneath seething rage is a parental mandate not to express one's thoughts and feelings, which  requires a lot of forgetting. 

        The first thing you must know is that this class is not about showing up so you can walk away with evidence that you completed the court order. This class is about showing up to heal. The second thing you need to know is that you were not born with any propensity for violence. Next, you need to know that it will take the four ingredients of healing: humility, courage, self-reflection, and a profound love of the truth. Which one are you best at? Which of those four traits have you yet to develop?

       At any rate, you will learn that you came by your rage honestly. It’s not inborn, and it was learned or unconsciously imprinted from the ways your parents treated you, your siblings, one another, and the people outside your home. Was there blaming and retribution in your family? Was there a modeled mandate not to complain or show your feelings when you were hurt? So, how did your parents disagree? Did they go silent? Walk out? Blame? Get even, or did they talk it out, each listening and then explaining their feelings, thoughts and needs. Did they negotiate a solution. Did they know how to take responsibility for their part? Did you get to see them cry, because it is through crying that we heal versus bottling up our feelings, which drives us to scapegoat innocent others.

       This theory doesn’t ask you to blame your parents to heal. Your parents were children too, and you can break the cycle of transmitting behaviors from one generation to the next, if you can tell the truth of what you experienced. They don't have to know.